If you have doubts, just think about why two people attempt the same kind of goal in relationship, one of them succeeds, and another fells short? Is it sheer luck? More often than not, it’s a person’s perspective about their own value in relationships and about what is relationship that determines whether they fell short or succeed.
What is a perspective, anyway? Typically a perspective refers to your predominant tendency to interpret events and make meanings moment to moment. There is no right or wrong about perspectives, but there are productive or unproductive perspectives. The definition of productive or unproductive is up to you to define.
Perspective is what you think about, make sense of, focus on, and expect from your daily experiences. Perspective is what you think about what’s going on around you. Think negatively, expect the worst, feel pessimistic about your options and that’s exactly what you’ll seem to draw into your life. This is an example of unproductive perspectives. Likewise, think positively, expect the best and focus on achieving goal and you are more likely to achieve. This is an example of productive perspectives.
Why a productive perspective is is so important in our life and relationships?
1) A productive perspective boosts your confidence and self-belief.
A lack of belief in yourself comes from your perspectives about yourself. Unproductive perspective usually comes along with a sense of powerlessness and futility. Lack of confidence will drive you easily into defensiveness when in communication. Obviously, this kind of self perspective about self is a recipe for unproductive relationships.
Having a productive perspective, on the other hand, means you believe in yourself and your capabilities and self worth. You believe you can create the relationship you want, at work, at home and in community. You’re willing to give it all your best shot.
2) A productive perspective strengthens your determination.
Without a productive perspective about failure, one failure in relationship is enough to convince you that having fruitful relationship is not possible. With such unproductive perspectives, if someone or some team fails you in relationships, you surmise that it simply wasn’t meant to be, and you easily to stop trying. Unfortunately, few things worth having are obtained so easily!
A productive perspective, however, strengthens your awareness that a failure is not the end of the story – it’s just one more way that didn’t work out the way you planned. In fact, a perspective you can take about failure that world make you unstoppable is that the only true failure occurs when you stop trying.
Knowing means nothing if there are no practices or actions. Do something today and watch how your own perspectives enabling you or debilitating you.
Yun Li
Coaching, Mediation, Speaking, Training
relationship development, management, transformation 